When I Was Growing Up!

I wanted to be a baseball player or an actor, some want to be cops, some dream to be vets  and nobody dreams to be a flame out loser at fucking almost thirty-seven. Ah did you think we were going to have a mushy gushy sweet post here? Not in the mood tonight, in the mood to change shit, in the mood of wanting more, the mood has to change pretty fucking soon, I am not sure how much longer I can hold on like this, the life I have created is no life at all! Lights, camera and action, I have opened my mouth once again and put all eyes on me, I am afraid if I don’t pull it off this time, it pulls me under and I drown. Bet that is the worst feeling in the world, sinking and there is nothing that you can do about it! I didn’t want this growing up, I wanted college, I wanted a good job and wife and kids and everything everybody always talks about wanting until I didn’t! Now I don’t know what the hell I want and worse, I am running out of time to figure it out, the clock struck midnight on my bullshit a long time ago! I grew up a long time ago, but this never settling down is starting to wear on me as I approach thirty-seven. The temper is shorter, the nights are longer and with every breath I take, life gets shorter, Toys r Us lied, you don’t get a choice, if you don’t grow up then you get passed the fuck over and then what? When I was growing up it was easy, you didn’t have your business spread all over Facebook. We played outside and rode bikes and scraped our knees, we didn’t sit across from each other in the same room texting on our ibabysitters! Yeah shit was easier when I was growing up, but I guess now the only thing to do is grow up, give up the bullshit and hope what I want is still in play! It is time to put some of these endless nights to bed, because life starts when the sun rises and I have missed to many of them. Life starts waking up with what you want in your arms, life starts when you start living it and the post after this will be all about LIVING YOUR LIFE! So what the fuck are you waiting for? Because at some point, we all have to grow up!

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