It’s Fading Fast! Probably My Best Post!

The kids and the plans, the white picket fences, the pta and the weekend soccer games, you can only think about it and dream about it for so long, before you have to make it happen! I could stop right there and that might be one of the best posts I have ever written, just a couple of sentences. Sometimes it is the littlest thing that makes a difference, no words just action from a wheelchair from Pete Frates, but that is for another day! For all the good I might be able to do, I still come back to one thing. What does it matter if I can’t talk to my best friend and what does it matter, if she isn’t standing beside me when I get there? It is all starting to fade on me very fast now, like that first night in the hospital I laid there terrified after waking up from a week coma! I struggled to breath, every breath harder than the last one, struggling with tubes down my throat just to survive. Tubes running out of the side of me filtering blood, you ever had that feeling where you really thought you were going to die? It is the scariest thing in the world, no I take that back it is the second scariest feeling in the world. I have faced death, I have stared it in the face and I was damn sure that night I woke up being told I had a fifteen percent chance of living, that it was all over for me, but you want to know what is even more terrifying than that? Sitting on your ass and doing nothing, while your hopes and dreams sit a mile and a half up the road! There is nothing worse in life that you can do  than sit around and wonder about the kids you could have had, the plans you made and could have followed through on, yeah pay attention here, death has come to my door and I don’t know why God takes who he does, but scarier than death is going through this life without the things you want, because it is to short and we only get one shot at it, so I challenge each and every one of you today. Dont end up like me, tears running down my face, what I want a mile and a half away, what I did last night heartbroken that I wont return a text, pay attention to what matters. She gave me her heart and I chose to crush it, I didn’t protect it and in the end I let it get away, facing death is nothing, facing regret as it is all fading fast is the worst feeling in the world so learn something!

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