Letting Go Of What We Know Is Going To Hurt For A long Time!

When hurt takes the place of inaction, a hurt that as much as we try to say we are over it, ha jokes on us. Those scars are starting to seep to the surface, worse that hurt I fear I am instead of owning it just passing the buck. As I laid  next to and amazing woman last night, after having amazing sex, the physical is all there, but the hurt still lies a mile  and a half away with your heart! Laying in bed next to the wrong woman for 7 hours last night unable to sleep, just told me what I already know. Letting go of what we know is going to hurt for a long time isn’t such a pretty or easy thing to do. Those moments when you find that fire and you get mad and you realize what was done to you just isn’t enough sometimes, the sting of it all is still right there in front of me! As I stare in my mind at the shit show I have created called my life, letting go is easy, admitting we can’t is the hard part! I guess the only way to let go is find something better, to find a better way. Because while I know it has hurt for nine months now, it doesnt have to hurt for ten, it doesn’t have to bring me to my knees again, that is a choice. And in the end what is killing me and hurting me now as I write this, it killed the hurt from the last one, so I guess I have all the answers then on how to make it stop hurting. But what do you do when you  know you have to give up on something because long ago it quit on you, but you don’t want to? Anybody else out there a little stubborn? Fuck am I talking to myself? Because as I look around at a lot of you, you’re doing the same thing I am, not fucking living and its bullshit on both are parts. Scars remind us of where we been and the things that we survived, they don’t have to dictate where we go unless we let them. The hurt will hang on a while longer, but your best work, your best times are ahead and if you keep pushing forward, you will find everything you are looking for through pain  and hurt!

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