When you were told over and over again how you were the one and how you mattered so much, until you didn’t. They said all the right things to build you up, and then dropped you on your ass with their actions, funny thing is, you did the same thing too! Time makes you see that it all happens for a reason and how miserable you might have been had it gone down the way you wanted it too. How many times you begged God or worked so hard wanting something, then looked back down the road and went whew, man I dodged a bullet on that one! Be careful while dodging bullets, you end up three weeks away from staring down thirty-seven! It does feel like the worst thing in the world when what you wanted so badly chooses something else over you, honestly, sometimes you feel like it might end you. You start taking inventory in your head looking for why and thinking what if I had done this, but in the end we all know none of that matters, what does is letting go of what is gone. Living fast and dying young is no way to live and the way I have lived the last fifteen years, it has probably cost me thirty. It has cost me all my money, it cost me the one I loved, the one that made me want to be better. The moments I thought I was going to spend with my grandfather until I got high and he died suddenly, yeah when life and what you want pass you over because you give them no choice, it feels like the worst feeling in the world. My bad, the forecast for Monday is gloom and doom, but it doesn’t have to be. I have to wake up tomorrow, do what I say I am going to do, leave alone what I should and see how the cards fall, goodnight! And I promise to do better on tomorrow mornings post, this one was kind of gay! Oops did I say gay, quit acting like a fag, I just said gay! It isnt like I said the N-word or something! Just a little pot stirring, just a little something to think about with the upcoming post! Didnt say it to discriminate against anyone, said it for the reaction I know that I am going to get!