I’m So Fucking Tired Of This, It Wasn’t The Weed, It Was The….

Game time or game over, that fucking simple. It was the waking up snoring on my chest and apologizing and falling right back to sleep, it was the way she said happy, every single time melted my heart. It was the man who understood me more than any other, because he knew I was just like him and I was one step away from putting it together. I refused for far too long to take that step and that shit just isn’t good enough anymore folks. I’m so fucking tired of this, it wasnt the weed, the I can’t or I won’t, it was the! It was the work I am now doing at three a.m., it’s the getting it shoved in my face one to many fucking times and finally growing a pair and doing something about it. It was the fight and surviving and everything that I have done to this point to still be standing here, there were a few times where I thought that it was over! It was the moments that mattered that pushed me to this point, the planning the family and all the things we were going to do. It was the cabin in Hood Canal, it was the money I was going to donate to her charity in honor of that little girl who should be ten today. I forgot it was never about me, it was about so much more, I apologize to all of you out there who have been following me and reading this, it was me not believing in myself and that is all it was. I apologize for that, I felt sorry for myself, the worst and most unattractive thing in the world, going out and doing something about it, because as I said we all have storms, yeah that is the most attractive thing in the world. I ran, I hid, I chose to be a little bitch and nobody to blame about that over here, but that is what I was, what I am about to be, yeah watch out for that guy, because he is about to make shit happen, this move, nobody will be able to overlook!

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