What I Thought!

Three months ago, I thought it was over. I was seconds away, it was on my fingertips, I was about to get her back, until I didn’t. I tried to crawl back in the same bitch I was and got treated like a bitch, nobody to blame there, and I have wasted too much time looking for someone to blame. She dropped me on my ass, flat broke and then the best friends wife has had enough of my shit and yup he is gone too! All within a two-day period it all went to hell and I lost two of most important things that I was fighting for! I thought fo sure it was over, I was done for, stick a fork in me. Fortunately for me, I have thought a lot of things over the years and well lets just say I may not have always been right.lol! I thought I couldn’t, I thought this time it was going to end me, I really did, until it didn’t and I quit being a bitch. Until I realized I forgot what mattered and I forgot what I thought didn’t matter, what I did, that was what mattered. Until I realized all the potential in me and those thoughts started to change, those thoughts started to figure a way out of this bitch, fifteen years, yeah I guess it might be about fucking time! In two days I lost the girl, to someone  who isn’t half of what I am, some chump. Lost the best friend, lost a lot of self-respect for myself, had to take down a five hundred post blog I was using to make moves and guess what? As I sat there, licking my wounds, watching it all go on around me I realized something. All I had to do was the work that what was against me wouldn’t do. It all came down in that one moment to what I have been saying all along, fuck man I gotta start paying attention, what I thought was wrong. I have it all in place, right here in this moment it is all there, it all comes down to how many four a.m.s I am willing to see, doing the work nobody sees, the work you do while others are sleeping! You see I was wrong, the mess that could have went down three months ago when that all went down could have been so much worse. I didn’t have it together, I was still trying to bullshit, but God did me a favor and now I get to come back the way I want to come back, fuck what I thought, I was wrong!


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