In the end the ones we love and hold dear to us are all that matters, but sometimes I think it would be better off if she were dead. Living this life knowing she is 1.5 miles down the road and I was passed over because of my choices, isn’t going to help me sleep tonight as the clock reads three a.m. At some point, probably should have been a long time ago for me, you have to decide, what kind of man you want to be. What you want them to say about you all of the time, not half of the time he is a good guy and half the time you don’t know what the fuck you are going to get. A time where you say fuck it, you made a mistake, but everyone does and she isn’t married, so why the hell not think this one is fixable. A time where the best friend you pissed away, you step up and face it no matter how bad the hit may be, or what you have to do to clean up the mess, fuck it, you have to try don’t you? A time when you pay back all of those people who stood by you and prove wrong all those people who ran their mouth and took shots at you when they weren’t perfect and they made mistakes too! Today I realized that I am only lying to myself thinking I don’t know everything. I was passed the fuck over, a choice was made and instead of moving the fuck on, I stand here in place somehow thinking that will make it better. Today I am honest with myself and I realize I must leave it here and see how it all plays out, but I must move the fuck on. I have suffered the consequences and I don’t know how the cards play out down the road for me, but it is time to change tables, I have no chance of winning staying here playing the same game. You know you got aced out, so move the fuck on and see what happens, what has staying here got you exactly?