Can I Ask You Something?

Have you changed or are you the same? The question I keep coming back to as I look for the eluding why I know I’ll never get. I man would of cane back and pardon the expression grabbed the opportunity by the balls. I tried to limp back in the same boy I was with more lies and conjecture! In the end, substance is what matters, doing what we say we are going to do all of the time, not part of it. Can I ask you something else? What matters? Do I even need to ask it? Those moments when you have a choice in front of you and you know what you should do, but still ponder the decision in your head. I never jumped, I didn’t want it bad enough and now 15 years later here I sit at 36 years old. So many wasted years, the creator of my own demise. I should be with her at horse shows and be at my best friends sons football games. Instead I am surrounded by strangers who are supposed to be my friends! Can I ask you one more thing? Was it worth it? Think about that and I’ll answer that question later on today.